Turkey… Pardon?

Gillian Ward

Well, here it comes. Thanksgiving is in just 3 days. That means it’s time to whip out the turkey and pumpkin pie, or ham… if thats how you roll. (ba dum tss…roll) No matter your traditions, there is one age old tradition going on in America that many people actually don’t know about. It’s the Presidential Turkey Pardoning. “The Presiwho turkish pardonwhat?”
Yes. For decades America has had a special turkey pardoning ceremony in which one special turkey is “pardoned” or spared from the dinner table. The first official turkey “pardoning” was done by Kennedy, whose presidency began in 1961. However, traditions similar have been happening since the 1800s; Kennedy was the first do use the word “pardon”.
So, to recap, a nationally televised event exists where our American president pardons one turkey from death only to eat one days later. Welcome to America.
This years turkey pardoning will be on the 20th (tomorrow), which will surely be accompanied by some clever quips from our president, as it was last year.
But how is the Turkey chosen?
This years turkey will be narrowed down from 60 prime bred MASSIVE turkeys. The finalists will be coming into Washington DC from South Dakota and will be treated like royalty. They are pampered, fed, and even given their own hotel room. They are funny turkeys. I hear they like Ed Sheeran.
“It’s a beauty contest” stated the South Dakotan farmer who brings up the young turkeys.
Indeed, the turkeys rise in rank depending on their beauty, as well as their temperament (to make for a good show).
So what happens to the rests of the turkeys? They are too big for a dinner pan, so they become deli meat. They go from spoiled to sandwiches.
But hey, don’t look so sad, I hear the pardoned turkey gets to watch the football game on Thanksgiving!